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程序员春节搞笑段子[文末送福利]

全民快乐8HAIYOUYIGEXINGQIJIUGUONIANLE,BAOBIWANXIANGZHIYEPEIXUNXUEXIAOTIQIANZHUDAJIACHUNJIEKUAILE!SHUNIANDAJI!ZUOWEICHENGXUYUANHE“ZHUNCHENGXUYUAN”DETONGXUEMEN,YEGAIHAOHAOFANGSONGXIALE,ZHEIZHOUJIUBUTUIJISHUWENLE,FENXIANGJIGEYOUQUDEDUANZIGONGDAHUOLEYILEBA。

 

11.jpg




程序员段子——春节应对篇:

 

        1.jpg娃儿,在外头做啥工作啊?

 

做开发的。2.jpg全民快乐8        

 


        1.jpg可以啊,这年头开发商最赚钱了。

 




        1.jpg一个月工资多少? 


八万多一点。(8000.0)2.jpg        



        1.jpg八万还多一点啊? 


是的是的…2.jpg        

 


        1.jpg有对象了吗? 


有了有了,天天对着对象呢。2.jpg        

 



程序员段子——生活轶事篇:




XINNIANYISHI,YOUYIGECHENGXUYUANDEDAOLEYIZHANSHENDENG。

 

DENGSHENDAYINGSHIXIANTAYIGEXINNIANYUANWANG,RANHOUTAXIANGSHENDENGXUYUAN,XIWANGZAIYOUSHENGZHINIANNENGXIEYIGEHAOXIANGMU。

 

HOULAITADEDAOLEYONGSHENG。




windowsCHENGXUYUANCHUNJIEQUBAIFANGPENGYOU,LUSHANGBIANZOUBIANDADIANHUAGAOSUTAPENGYOUTASHENMESHIHOUDAO:

 

全民快乐8WOYIJINGCHUMENLE,ZHENGZAIWANGNINEILIGAN,DAYUE15FENZHONGHOUDAODA……

 

DAYUE1XIAOSHIHOUDAODA……

 

DAYUE7TIANHOUDAODA……

 

DAYUE7MIAOHOUDAODA……




QIZIRANGCHENGXUYUANZHANGFUQUMAISHUIGUO:“NIQUSHICHANGMAIXIEPINGGUO,RUGUOKANDAOMAIXIGUADE,MAIYIGE。”

 

JIEGUOZHEIGEZHANGFUZHIMAILEYIGEPINGGUOHUILAI,QIZINUDAO:“NIWEISHENMEZHIMAIYIGEPINGGUO?!”

 

CHENGXUYUANZHANGFUHUIDA:“YINWEIWOKANDAOMAIXIGUADE。”




MOUCHENGXUYUANDUISHUFASHIFENGANXINGQU,TUIXIUHOUJUEDINGLIANXISHUFA,YUSHIHUAZHONGJINGOUMAILESHANGDENGDEWENFANGSIBAO。

 

全民快乐8YIFANMOMONIZHI,BINGDIANSHANGLESHANGHAODETANXIANG,POYOUWANGXIZHIFENGFAN,YOUJUYANZHENQINGQISHI。

 

DINGSHENPIANKE,POMOHUIHAO,ZHENGZHONGDIXIEXIAYIXINGZI:hello world!



 

程序员段子——婚恋篇:

 



YINVCHENGXUYUANZHENGHUN:

 

全民快乐8SELECT*FROMNANRENWHERE (WEIHUN=true or LIYI=true) and TONGXINGLIAN=false and YOUFANG=true and YOUCHE=true and TIAOJIAN in (‘DAFANG’,\'SHENSHI’,\'HUIZUOJIAWU\',\'SHUAIQI\',\'ZUIHAOHAINENGDAIHAIZI’) and NIANLING between(26, 40)

 

全民快乐8YIZISHENDECHENGXUYUANHUIFU:(0row(s)affected)




LIANGGECHENGXUYUAN,YIGEJISHUJINGZHAN,SIWEIYANJIN,RENZHENFUZE,BugJISHAO,ZHIJINDANSHEN;LINGYIGEJISHUYIBAN,DIAOERLANGDANG,BugYIDUI,JINGCHANGBEICESHIMMJIAODAOTAPANGBIAN,JIESHOUPIPING,HOULAICHENGLETANANPENGYOU。





NVSHEN:NINENGRANGZHEIGELUNTANDERENDOUCHAOQILAI,WOJINWANJIUGENNIZOU。

 

CHENGXUYUAN:PHPYUYANSHIZUIHAODEYUYAN!

 

LUNTANZHAGUOLE,GEZHONGCHAOJIA。

 

NVSHEN:FULENILE,WOMENZOUBA,NIXIANGGANSHADOUXING。

 

CHENGXUYUAN:JINTIANBUXING,WOYIDINGYAOSHUOFUTAMEN,PHPYUYANSHIZUIHAODEYUYAN。




CHENGXUYUANAIQINGGUAN:

 

AIQINGJIUSHISIXUNHUAN,YIDANZHIXINGJIUXIANJINQULE;

全民快乐8AISHANGYIGEREN,JIUSHINEICUNXIELOU——NIYONGYUANSHIFANGBULE;

ZHENZHENGAISHANGYIGERENDESHIHOU,NEIJIUSHICHANGLIANGXIANDING,YONGYUANBUHUIGAIBIAN;

全民快乐8NVPENGYOUJIUSHISIYOUBIANLIANG,ZHIYOUWOZHEIGELEICAINENGDIAOYONG;

全民快乐8QINGRENJIUSHIZHIZHEN,YONGDESHIHOUYIDINGYAOZHUYI,YAOBURANJIUHUIDAILAIJUDADEZAINAN。



 

程序员段子——技术问答篇:

 



全民快乐8WEN:YONGYIJUHUAZONGJIEHTML,CSS,JSDEGUANXI?

 

全民快乐8DA:HTMLSHIMINGCI,JSSHIDONGCI,CSSSHIXINGRONGCIHEFUCI。




WEN:ZHANHEDUILIEDEQUBIESHISHA?

 

DA:CHIDUOLELAJIUSHIDUILIE,CHIDUOLETUJIUSHIZHAN。




全民快乐8WEN:ZENMESHIYONGMIANXIANGDUIXIANGDEFANGSHIBIANDEFUYOU?

 

DA:JICHENG。




全民快乐8WEN:WEISHENMECHENGXUYUANZONGSHIFENBUQINGWANSHENGJIEHESHENGDANJIE?

 

全民快乐8DA:YINWEI Oct 31 == Dec 25。


 


WEN:WEISHENME《c++CHENGXUSHEJIYUYAN》BI《cCHENGXUSHEJIYUYAN》HOULEJIBEI?

 

DA:YINWEIYOULEDUIXIANGJIUHUIMAFANHENDUO。

 



WEN:CHENGXUYUANZUITAOYANKANGXIDENAGEERZI?WEISHENME?

 

全民快乐8DA:YINSI,YINWEITASHIBAAGE(bug)。

 



WEN:JUGESHENGHUOLIDELIZISHUOYIXIAJAVACHENGXUYUANHECCHENGXUYUANDECHABIE?

 

DA:SHITANGLI,CHIWANFANJIUZOUDESHIJAVACHENGXUYUAN,CHIWANFANHAIYAOZIJISHOUSHIDENEIJIUSHICCHENGXUYUAN。(YINWEIJAVAZIDAILAJIHUISHOUJIZHI...CXUYAOSHOUDONGSHIFANGNEICUN)


程序员春节搞笑段子.jpg


最后,祝大家在新的一年里:

 

男生像Oracle般健壮;

 

女生像Ubuntu般漂亮;

 

桃花运像IE中毒般频繁;

 

钱包如Gmail容量般壮大;

 

升职速度赶上微软打补丁;

 

追女朋友像木马一样猖獗;

 

生活像重装电脑后一样幸福;

 

写程序敲代码和聊天一样有激情!

 

重磅福利来啦!

全民快乐8ZAICHUNJIEQIJIAN(JIRIQIZHI2YUE8RIYUANXIAOJIE)YUYUEBAOMINGBAOBIWANXIANGZHIYEPEIXUNXUEXIAODESIDAITKECHENG,JIANGHUIHUODEEWAI XINCHUNXUEFEIBUTIE E!ZHUNBEIXUEXIITJISHUDETONGXUEKEBUYAOCUOGUOLE。JUTIXIANGQINGKEDIANJIYOUXIAFANGZAIXIANKEFUZIXUN。

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